sharings from Pauline O'Shea, Patient Advocate, Public speaker, Media spokesperson & Writer on the challenges & healing that life has to offer
First published 2021. Re-issued for Father's Day 2023 When I regained consciousness in ICU after open heart surgery, bleary eyed and with a raging temperature from an infection that made me feel like I had landed at the gates of hell, the first thing I remember seeing was my Dad’s red coat. He was coming… Continue reading The power of LOVE in healing…
Back in my student days, I lived in a house where an art therapist also resided. Art therapy wasn't a big thing in those days. He was viewed with a mixture of fascination and pity... pity for how little demand there was for his business and how 'broke' he always seemed to be, fascination for… Continue reading Could your CREATIVE talent become your healing therapy?
In the lead up to Christmas this year, a beautiful person in my life and the lives of so many of my extended family died and so, just days before life was supposed to turn festive, came a funeral. Christmas, with its traditions based on the Christian belief in the birth of Christ, seems at… Continue reading LOST & FOUND… how sharing a loss, helped find some healing
Diagnosis can bring devastation, but after 10 years living with a pretty big one (heart failure, post misdiagnosis of SCAD), I have learned that it doesn't bring only devastation... There are times in life when things take a turn for the worst, and times in life when things take a turn for the better because… Continue reading Yes, GREEN SHOOTS are possible after and because of, that pain in your heart…
With patients, ‘that place’ can refer to the venue where they received their diagnosis and/or treatment, or 'that place' where they were when they first noticed the lump, or experienced the sudden pain that would change their lives utterly. For others, it can be more of an experience, 'that place' in memory that holds the… Continue reading “I JUST CAN’T GO THERE!” But what if going to ‘that place’ is key to helping you heal?
I recently got a message from a lady in the US. She had read a blogpost I had previously written on the impact of SCAD, heart failure, and open-heart surgery, (see '10 years on...') and having experienced all three of these herself, only a few months prior, wanted to know what my medical results were… Continue reading Could SHARING YOUR STORY be the purpose of your pain?
I have always been a reader, in fact books are my ‘shoe addiction’. A bookshop is my go-to place. Little wonder then that when I have faced the challenging times in my life, I have dived into the world of books, in part to seek connection with someone else in my predicament, but equally to… Continue reading BOOK MEDICINE… GREAT READS to help heal the heart, mind and soul!
IT'S A DAY OF CELEBRATION BUT A DAY OF MIXED EMOTIONS TOO for many... those without Dads, for a lifetime, or lost through ill health or death, those who longed to be Dads, but never were, or those who were, but lost a child. And what about all those who have never officially had the… Continue reading ALL TYPES OF DADS…
We've all been there, those moments in life where life itself can seem more demanding than we are able for, where we feel exhausted before we even start, where we feel alone on our journey. While I am not in that place at this time in my life, I have been! And the reality is,… Continue reading ‘THE CLIMB’, by Pauline O’Shea, a reflection and poem for those feeling overwhelmed, lost and alone…
I've been ill since last I wrote. It lasted for weeeeeeks. A virus. Not Covid... officially... but a definite stepbrother or stepsister. First came the excessive tired, then the cough, the sore throat, the weak limbs... it felt like someone had pulled the bath plug out... Then there was the chest infection, the reduced oxygen,… Continue reading ‘LISTEN TO YOUR BODY’!… yes, but what happens to the rest of your life while you do🤦♀️ ??
As a heart patient who has survived multiple heart attacks as a result of a condition called SCAD (Spontaneous Coronary Artery Dissection) combined with a medical misdiagnosis, and then went on to experience a cardiac arrest, open heart surgery and a diagnosis of heart failure, you may think I'd sort of fallen out of love… Continue reading ‘A HEART’, by Pauline O’Shea… a poem written for everyone who has one!
On this month, 10 years ago, my life changed forever. On the very day I brought my beautiful baby daughter home from the hospital, I suffered a condition called SCAD, where a tear occurred in one of my coronary arteries, causing a heart attack. I was 38 years old. A trip to A+E, a medical… Continue reading 10 YEARS on from a SCAD & HEART FAILURE diagnosis … here are some of the things I’ve learned…
I am blessed to have my mother still with me, but I know many who do not. I know those too who have lost a child, and those who longed for them but never had them, both having to live with absence in their hearts, often invisible to the outside world. I have met people… Continue reading ‘A MOTHER’S DAY FOR ALL’, reflection and poem, by Pauline O’Shea
As I lay in my bed in a large cardiac ward some years ago after open heart surgery, I became somewhat fixated on a tiny window on the opposite side of the ward. It wasn’t even showing a great view, unless you count a metal fire escape as ‘artistic’. If I was asked at the… Continue reading NATURE’S HEALING… science shows that connecting with nature can improve our physical health… so is it time Doctors prescribed ‘Nature’ to patients?
Photo by gdtography from PexelsBEING IRISHBy Pauline O’Shea Where once the bog road was the wayThe Irish of the modern dayPrefer to travel motorwaysTo work for tech, than go save hay Where once a granny wore a shawlAnd sat by home fires lone and smallNow with her smartphone apps installedShe laughs at gifs and facetime’s all Where once spuds were the… Continue reading ‘Being Irish’, by Pauline O’Shea… Happy St. Patrick’s Day ☘
Wishing all the wonderful women of the world in the home, in business, caring for others, dealing with wars, in the world of sports, art, media, volunteering in their communities, in religious life, dealing with challenges, dealing with loss, dealing with children, dealing with elderly parents, living alone, bereaved, separated, living with a health diagnosis,… Continue reading Happy International Women’s Day 2022 💗 from Pauline O’Shea
Main photo by Michelle Leman from Pexels thank you to Michelle and to her brave and beautiful model. In a recent conversation with a fellow heart failure patient, who has had the condition for five years, she began to cry when she talked about her interactions with a lifelong friend post diagnosis. With her permission, I quote her… Continue reading The INVISIBILITY of our illnesses or struggles can be an extra challenge, but there are ways to overcome…
It's everywhere this week, from TVs to phones, newspapers to radio, our world is at war and so with saddened heart I write these words today... I hope humanity can rise to the humanitarian challenge it is now facing, that aggressor's everywhere are defeated, and that ultimately, goodness, freedom, love and peace win, and with… Continue reading ‘O World at War’, by Pauline O’Shea
From political conflicts, to culture wars, celebrity twitter rows, to mask wearing divergent opinion, it seems conflict is the new dominant feature in our daily lives, now that the Covid tide is receding (we hope!). We are back to hearing about lots of ‘outrage’ to this and that, lots of accusations of fake news when… Continue reading CONFLICT & CANCEL CULTURE are now bed fellows, but is this combination a missed opportunity for ALL to heal?
Love is in the air this week, in case you've missed the card and chocolate stands emblazoned with reminders of February 14th being Valentine's Day. We have been commercially encouraged everywhere it seems to deliver our love in the form of chocolates, flowers, cards and well, whatever else we might be willing to stretch to… Continue reading To LOVE regardless… how St. Valentine’s message can help our wellbeing & healing
We all do it… criticise our bodies. We find them too big here, too small there, too round here and maybe even too flat there. When you’re a patient the criticism levels can rise even further… the heart that won’t beat like it ‘should’, the body that won’t deliver enough energy to meet your life… Continue reading In GRATITUDE to the bodies that keep us alive each day….
It happens to us all. We have the blazing row with someone, or take offence to what they said, or choose to ignore the one who has hurt us, certain that our hostility is the right and only course of action to take. Fueled by pride and anger in the aftermath of the 'offence', we… Continue reading “Finding grace”… how healing can become a beautiful thing… by Pauline O’Shea
Covid 19 has been a challenge for everyone. Two years of uncertainty and at times tremendous fear, has taken its toll. It is understandable therefore to see the jubilant faces of so many, staring out of our newspapers and newsfeeds, as they celebrate our departure from so many restrictions. But what about the medically vulnerable… Continue reading Our society has reopened, but have the medically vulnerable become a “forgotten people”?
In case you missed it, last Monday was called ‘Blue Monday’ (Jan 17th), declared the official saddest and most depressing day of the year back in 2005, by Cliff Arnall, a tutor at the time, attached to Cardiff University, in response to a request from a travel company to provide a scientific formula for the… Continue reading Are you, or a loved one FEELING BLUE?
This week saw the murder of a beautiful young teacher and talented musician, in Ireland, who simply went for a run by a river on a popular walkway, after work, on a bright January afternoon, only to have it end up costing her, her life. It has shocked our nation, both men and women, who… Continue reading ‘For all the women’, by Pauline O’Shea
When I woke up in ICU after emergency open heart surgery, I discovered quickly that as well as a shattered body and a shattered mind, I now possessed a shattered faith, in myself, my heart and my God. Up to then, life seemed largely like a Lego construction to me, built up brick by brick,… Continue reading Finding FAITH in my heart once more…
I hope you all had a good Christmas or at least the comfort of some good love and kindness if you didn't. Today I am feeling more poetic... hope you enjoy this, my latest poem... wishing all who read it, all the good wishes it professes... and that you all may experience the jewels of… Continue reading ‘This New Year’, by Pauline O’Shea
While for many of us, Christmas will be a very, or relatively, merry affair, for some, it may not. If you have lost a loved one, a job, your good bill of health, your home, or your relationship over the last year, then Christmas might involve coping with that empty chair, or that other gaping… Continue reading Christmas for the BROKEN-HEARTED…. a tale of finding light after loss
In his books about the physiological effects of love, hope, positivity, and joy, on his patient’s recoveries, American oncologist, Dr. Bernie Siegel , leaves the reader in no doubt that these elements are important medicines for the human body. Having read his classics, Love, Medicine and Miracles and Peace, love and healing, I found his… Continue reading The medicine of JOY…
We’ve all heard the message, ‘It’s OK to not be OK’, to reach out, to tell someone how you feel… but the response to such a statement can perhaps be as vital as the admission itself, for the one who is seeking healing. I recently watched a documentary called ‘The Weight of Gold’ narrated by… Continue reading “It’s OK to not be OK,”… but is the RESPONSE to that admission causing more hurt than healing?
It was a week where the poet in me emerged to the public, finally out of my chrysalis, ready to flap my poetic wings through the use of technology to express my inner world... I hope that readers enjoy 'For You'... ©Pauline O’Shea If you would like to see more poems by Pauline, please click… Continue reading ‘For You’ by Pauline O’Shea
Last week I had the pleasure of being part of a presentation and discussion on the psychological impact of diagnosis. It’s a topic close to my heart, having experienced all manner of psychological fallout to my own misdiagnosis, eventual diagnosis and horrendous legacy of both, from stress and anxiety, to lows and PTSD (more on… Continue reading The PSYCHOLOGICAL impact of illness… why we need to HEAL OUR MINDS, as well as our BODIES!
As I write this week, I am sitting on a couch recovering. I’ve not been sick as much as I have hit a wall in terms of my health, that large metal wall, unbendable and unmerciful, that allows no progress forward bar breathing and if you are lucky the use of your digits. In the… Continue reading FATIGUE… a battle best shared than hidden…
It’s been a manic few weeks in my world, as I am sure it has been for many of you. September, with it’s new ‘opening up’ and ‘returning to normal’ strategies has seen lots begin again and anew for us. For me, it meant, one child embarking on college, two others returning to school, patient… Continue reading Sorry, but I NEED to say “NO!”
But for this blog, many of you would be unaware that I live with heart failure, or that my marriage ended. To the regular person on the street, the other school parents, the people in my community, I look ‘normal’. How do I know I look ‘normal’? Because when people eventually heard/hear about my… Continue reading “But you look so ‘NORMAL’!!!”… the need to redefine ‘NORMAL’ to bring HEALING.
She had no idea there was a mountain to climb before she was brought to its base. Even then she didn’t know much about it, but felt the journey begin amidst the firm but gentle clasp of the adult hands on either side of her, holding her two small soft hands, with dimpled knuckles, in… Continue reading “The Mountain Climbers” in APPRECIATION for ALL those who accompany us on the journey
After my illness, I instinctively knew that words were going to be very significant to how I got through my recovery. I needed words to feed me hope, light and possibility if I was going to survive mentally and recover emotionally. It wasn’t me wanting to hear medical falsehoods about my future, but it was… Continue reading “Should I put down the pen?” – facing the dilemma… when HEALING for one, is HURTING for another…
We’ve all been there at some point, been in that parent child type scenario with a fellow adult, where the other is leaving us in no doubt that they are the expert and we, the floundering, less important of the two. Alas our healthcare systems can be rife with this type of relationship, the doctor… Continue reading Why the PATIENT needs to be treated as an EQUAL in our healthcare systems…
You know how it is, your life turns upside down, while everyone else’s looks rosier than ever. Your Facebook feed is full of smiling family pics from the latest staycation hotspot (is it Donegal this week, or has it moved back to Kerry?). You even notice the odd ‘Playa de something or other’ creeping into… Continue reading ‘CLICK & CONNECT’… why finding your tribe, is a UNIQUE and VITAL lifeline in a struggle…
First published 2021. Re-issued for Father's Day 2023 When I regained consciousness in ICU after open heart surgery, bleary eyed and with a raging temperature from an infection that made me feel like I had landed at the gates of hell, the first thing I remember seeing was my Dad’s red coat. He was coming… Continue reading The power of LOVE in healing…
When you find yourself describing yourself as ‘Thomas the tank engine’ in the morning, and ‘Salty’, the clapped-out engine, in the afternoon, it can mean only one thing, that you’re talking to a child about living with heart failure. We were having a lovely week away, my daughter and I, taking in the beach, visitor… Continue reading HEART FAILURE & MOTHERHOOD… and learning to juggle the two
I have just spent a week in my hometown. It’s been the first holiday here since Covid hit and since my marriage separation, so a lot of firsts. I have often said marriage breakdown is like a death without a body, and that, just like death, and the grief that comes with it, there can… Continue reading When ‘FAMILIARITY’ breeds HEALING and not contempt!
There are a lot of books written on overcoming life challenges, 5 steps this way, 10 steps that way, all trying to produce the complete, ‘over it with these strategies’ result. Having been through a few big life challenges myself (cardiac arrest and marriage breakdown, to name but two), I can see the appeal of… Continue reading ‘RISING STRONG’, yes Brené Brown, I think that’s the call, when cometh the life challenge
When you’ve been through great pain, there is something within, that wants to help prevent that pain for another, or at least help them get through it, if indeed they have to bear it. It is hard to explain that feeling, or why it is there, but throughout the world, we hear this reaction from… Continue reading HEALING through HELPING… and how it sows seeds for the better
We had been married for 20 years and together for 29, when our marriage ended. Teens to forty somethings, we had journeyed together from REM to Coldplay and through lots more debatable ‘good’ music choices in between. A marriage is a complex affair. It is a melting pot of history, dreams, intimacy, finances, sometimes children,… Continue reading “CONSCIOUS UNCOUPLING”… sorry Gwyneth, I’m not as good as you at it… but I’m getting there!
I used to think happiness was about achieving landmark moments in life; the good job, the house, the baby, but life has taught me it’s less about the produce of, and more about the ingredients in, our everyday living that holds the key. It takes a while to get the ingredients for happiness right of… Continue reading Recipes for HAPPINESS…
When I was lying in the high dependency unit, post emergency open heart surgery, several years ago, grieving for my life that was, my children that I couldn’t see, and a future life that seemed, back then, so unlikely, I craved, more than anything, human connection. In the long, lonely hours of night, behind the… Continue reading COMPASSION, a vital medicine for the wounded…
It wouldn’t be quite correct to say that I bought my house because of a tree, but it wouldn’t be far off either. It's a large eucalyptus tree, God knows how old, but very mature. The first day I saw it was an exciting day. We were house hunting for a while, when we came… Continue reading THE HEALING TREE…
I thought I was rescuing a dog, turned out the dog had arrived in my life to rescue me. I didn’t notice it for a while of course, didn’t spot that every time I came home from dropping the kids to school, that he led me straight to fun, rather than the dishwasher, his squeaky,… Continue reading The power of HAIRY MEDICINE…
Holding my new-born and delighting in her arrival, I had no idea that my coronary artery was about to threaten our ability to ever have a relationship. Birth is such a time of newness, hope and promise, that the thoughts of death and ending are probably at their most alien. And for other good reasons… Continue reading When MOM’S GET SICK… the GUILT can be the worst bit
The healing of life 